What I miss about being a youth minster

Tomorrow will mark six months since I found myself without a youth ministry.  And since I have decided, at least for now, not to pursue a youth ministry position, I thought it would be a good time to write about what I miss about it and what I am doing to compensate for these things. #1 The number one thing I miss about being a youth minister is a distant runaway number one.  I was a youth minster because I felt a call to work with students.  The thing I miss most about youth ministry is those relationships with students.

Working with students is wonderful because it keeps you young.  Middle and High school students have boundless energy.  Some of it rubs off just be being in their presence.  It is wonderful because they are not yet jaded or cynical and there is so much potential for them to do great things for God’s kingdom.  And it is wonderful because you get to see them mature and become adults.  I still maintain relationships with many of my students from the past.  And I try, even if it’s only through Facebook, to keep up with the lives of all my former students.  Some students will break your heart, they make poor decisions, drift out of church and follow the world’s way, but there are so many that I am proud of for their choices.  At least 2 of my former students are now ministers, and, even though it may be statistically unlikely, most are involved in their churches.  On a slightly different note, I do not miss the relationships with parents nearly as much, but never wanted to be antagonistic towards parents, and I never allowed students to disparage their parents. I always valued the opportunity to have influence in the lives of students, and I appreciated their parents for allowing me those relationships.

After leaving my previous church it took me about 3 months to find a new church home.  But I am now quite content and I am a regular adult volunteer with the students at Edgewood.  Though it is slow going I am beginning to again develop these types of relationships.  It’s different, I’m not in charge anymore, but the opportunity is still there.

#2 The second thing I miss is teaching regularly.  I really enjoy teaching and as a church staff member I got the opportunity to teach at least 3 times a week for 14 years.  I was hoping that my apologetics ministry would fulfill this need in my life, but so far that ministry has yet to get off the ground.  Now allow me to praise the youth minister at my church.  My appreciation for Joey Snyder is immense.  He has allowed me opportunities to teach, and I believe that he views me as an asset.   Though he is a better youth minister than I am he still allows me to help.  I consider him a good friend and I am always glad to help him out.

How do I fulfill this need to teach regularly? I already said that I hoped my apologetics ministry would take off and I would get the opportunity, but that hasn’t happened.  (Please take a minute to visit my website and consider having me lead an apologetics weekend at your church) I am officially the teacher of my Sunday school class, but that is such a different style that it does not quite scratch the itch.  Plus I only actually teach every third week.  So far, I just really miss this.  I try and not lecture my friends and family in normal conversation.

#3 The third thing I miss about being a youth minister is the “identity” issue I talked about when I decided to launch a new ministry.  For years I have been Jeremy Mathis: Minister of Youth, now I am Jeremy Mathis: guy who works in a kitchen.  It’s a big adjustment, and it’s one I haven’t fully made.  I still get an incredible amount of mail regarding youth camps and curriculum and I still want to go to the Lifeway youth ministry conference.  All these things have been a part of how I think of myself for a long time and I struggle with this regularly.  I don’t want to beat a dead horse here, but if my apologetics ministry were to become successful, I believe it would almost completely alleviate the pain of this identity problem.

That’s it.  That’s what I miss.  I considered writing a “what I don’t miss about being a youth minster” post.  But that would be cynical and wrong.  Being a youth minister was a great experience for me and I was blessed to have the opportunities I had..

Review: Divided

Before I begin this review I should disclose something that is not a secret.  I am a youth minister and for the past 15 years I have earned at least a portion of my income as a youth minster, so I obviously have a bias as I watch this film and write a review. I wish the film had begun with disclosures as well.  It is a well-made film, but it is not a documentary, it is a propaganda piece for the National Center for Family-Integrated Churches.  The film, however, begins with the “documentarian” saying, “As a filmmaker, I set out to find answers.”  He did not set out to find answers.  He set out to promote his viewpoint.  This is perfectly fine, and it does not make the thesis of the film less worth discussion.  It just should have been made clear.

If you want to form your own opinion, you can watch the film for free until September on vimeo, or on the film’s website.

Before dissecting the thesis of the film, I’ll address some of the issues it brings up.  Are there problems with youth ministry as it has been carried out over the past few decades?  Yes.  Undeniably there have been those who simply view youth ministry as a “keep kids out of trouble” activity.  Sometimes youth ministry has erred by making the assumption that busyness is equal to spirituality.  Many youth ministries are supported by the personality of the youth pastor rather than the Holy Spirit.  There is not nearly enough Bible literacy within youth ministries.  Finally, there is no denying that many students leave the church when they get a driver’s license.  These are all valid issues and they need to be considered.  If possible they need to be solved.

However, not all of the things the film lists as shortcomings of youth ministry are actual problems.  Students having fun at a rock concert is not proof that youth ministry is failing, and it is not proof that the students are not spiritual.  Nor does a youth ministry in which there are video games on the premises or fun trips and fun activities on the calendar suggest that there is also not spiritual growth.

The thesis of Divided comes at the 30 minute mark.  After addressing many of the previously mentioned problems with youth ministry, the most significant being that students often leave the church, comes the following statement.

Is it possible the crisis we are seeing in the church today is a form of God’s judgment on the church… for doing something completely against the command of God [in order] to solve a problem with the youth?

The film suggests that the entire concept of youth ministry is not only absent from the Bible, but that it is unbiblical.

Divided says that the problems found in modern churches are a result of the unbiblical nature of youth ministry.  To be clear, the film says that all age-graded teaching of any kind is not only unbiblical, but it has roots in paganism.  It is a very unfair criticism of Robert Raikes to suggest that he developed Sunday school out of a pagan philosophy.  In fact, it is openly untrue.  The suggestion, that because churches have classrooms on either side of a hall that they have bought into a sort of neo-Platonism is patently ridiculous.  (And seriously, where else are classrooms supposed to go in relation to a hallway?)

A second criticism I would direct toward the film is that there is really no scripture offered to suggest that age-graded teaching is unbiblical.  It is well-established that the primary discipleship role belongs to parents.  However there is nothing, either in the Bible or the film to suggest that the church cannot or should not  have a role in discipling children.  The Bible makes it clear that there is a role of mentorship that should occur within the confines of church fellowship.

Every responsible youth minister I know is aware that the church and the family need to work together.  Aware that ideally the church should walk beside the family and supplement the work of the family.  This tension between church and family is being addressed in many places.   Every youth minister I know is working to resolve it, and it is the reason for significant movements like Lasting Divergence  and Orange.  When this approach is brought up in the film (36 min) it is immediately dismissed with only one brief comment.

There are a few things that Divided does not address at all that would certainly shore-up the filmmaker’s argument.   First, do students in family-integrated churches leave church at a substantially lower rate?  The film does not say, it really only criticizes.  But if this approach was a definite solution to the problem, it would be helpful to present some data.  Secondly, do churches of this sort have any approach to students with uninvolved or non-Christian parents.  If the solution is to let the parents disciple students then are they simply giving up on the hoards of students whose parents do not disciple them?  And if the solution is to come to church and be mentored by a “father figure” what is the fundamental difference in a deacon/elder and a youth pastor.  Finally, is it better to have a few years of influence in the lives of children, especially those with uncommitted or un-Christian parents, and have them leave church when they turn 16, or for these students to have no church influence whatsoever?

In conclusion, I find Divided flawed in a number of ways, most significantly that it does not prove its thesis.  However I believe that it is an important film even if it merely gets people considering how to address some substantial problems in the church and youth ministry.

I know this was long, but if you are still reading, feel free to comment.  And if you are a youth minister, I'l especially like to hear your comments.

It is the National Day of Prayer...

...and I'm feeling generous I spend a lot of time writing lessons and preparing to teach my youth group.  I rarely use a lesson that anyone else has written.  However, it is not unheard of.  So today I am sharing something with you.

Our association had a NDOP youth service last night.  It was a good service, although very simple.  we sang worship songs, and then divided into groups for prayer.  We had 20 prayer stations and the students divided into groups of 5 or less and moved through the stations.  Some had simple exercises for illustration purposes.

Click here to download the prayer prompts.  Obviously if you use them yourself they will require customizing. They include prompts for all of our local middle & high schools as well as local officials.

I spent quite a while making these all the same format and wrote many of them, however I cannot take all the credit.  Chuck, Joey, and David are responsible as well.

I hope you find these useful.

The most important issue for youth today

Two weeks ago I tried an interactive question on this blog I asked a question and for your feedback.  I was busy last week though and forgot to post my response.  So with an apology I offer my answer. The question I asked you to respond to is What is the most important issue that our teenagers are facing today?

The way I laid out this question was in the context of a church youth minister search committee.  If they asked you this question, how would you respond?  With apologies to Chap Clark, I do not believe that there is a fundamental change in teenagers over the years.  Technology has brought about many changes in culture and to our society, but essentially here are no new sins, only new ways to get involved with them.

When I asked this question my answer is that the problem for teenagers is the same as for every other person; not knowing Christ.  The biggest problem any person can have is being lost and having to deal with judgment and eternity.  I know, however, that this not really the answer a committee is looking for.  They want to know what unique problem is there today that teenagers deal with that was formerly not a problem.

To that question my answer is that there is such a proliferation of media that it can be impossible to hear the voice of God over all the other screaming voices.  A Twitter stream, and a Facebook feed, and dealing with text messages from 9 people all at once, while wearing earbuds makes it very hard to have quiet time.  In fact, this constant stream can make it hard to hear any voice.  And eventually it can rob teenagers of the ability to be around the people they are around.  I believe that this is the greatest problem facing our students today because it hinders the ability to have real relationships.  Or maybe it just changes what the word "relationship" means.

On another note: I really enjoyed the feedback I got on this one.  Everyone wrote well-thought-out answers and I can’t disagree with anyone.  I am inspired to do this on a regular basis.  Ask a youth ministry question on a Wednesday give my reply the following week.  Would you be willing to keep participating if I did that?